tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44751016776892563962024-03-05T07:38:59.042-06:00Remembering KiwiIn remembrance of Carroll Benjamin Pickering who lost a three year battle to brain cancer. (1972-2013)James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-4265144101164766702021-03-01T19:06:00.003-06:002021-03-02T13:22:07.410-06:00Meant for Each Other<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWwaFITcIcJhE4Yik3td83J1EvRdUOT1YqGhKlNbmqgkB-Q71EbPPcL-bzcP5gVQmZx2k8as7gzaZ3lI16j7xpr3O6XbWrMVbY7ilVNOvwUeNwH4K-CJxafy-wJsNQm8fB1RSHGdZQWBM/" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" data-original-height="530" data-original-width="516" height="261" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWwaFITcIcJhE4Yik3td83J1EvRdUOT1YqGhKlNbmqgkB-Q71EbPPcL-bzcP5gVQmZx2k8as7gzaZ3lI16j7xpr3O6XbWrMVbY7ilVNOvwUeNwH4K-CJxafy-wJsNQm8fB1RSHGdZQWBM/w255-h261/image.png" width="255" /></a></div><span style="font-family: arial;">This little saying was found on my Facebook feed and it reminded me of Carroll so very much. I truly don't think that I will ever meet another person quite like her which makes her memory that much more special to me.<br /><br />My late wife and I finished each other's sentences. I always told folks after she passed that it came in handy when the brain tumor she had started taking it's toll on her. One of the symptoms that her tumor showed was something called aphasia, which was her not being able to say a word although she could see the word in her mind and knew it's meaning. You know when you say that a word is on the tip of your tongue? This was the real manifestation of it.</span><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;">As for being able to finish each others sentences, I was driving with her and one of her friends. They were talking about something and I was half listening. Carroll was speaking and got to a spot where the aphasia kicked in, and without missing a beat snapped her fingers in my direction, I spoke the missing word and she kept on with the conversation. It was moments like that where I knew we were truly meant for each other.</span><div><div><div><div></div></div></div></div></div></div>James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-62347411139597606502020-09-14T14:37:00.003-05:002020-09-14T14:37:53.589-05:00That First Meeting<p><span style="font-family: arial;">Eighteen years ago, I met the most wonderful person in the world and somehow, strangely, she felt the same way about me. Two years later I would ask her to be my wife. All on this day of days, it is shared with the birthday of my mother and little brother. Mom's still here but little brother and Carroll are up there with the angels, burning our ears.</span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZprlB8Ifb-zc5VkxX2CY7piL5WwJFYuw9m3mMdq0v6qpecLmZzyQjXoZw0MqKMd6P_jm6ZqzMcsITkI3NLVmeKLacLW_JS17iwY_bauZUkNNTFV_-YUtJ1qP86kxYIU9zwovZF9UmqNo/s1536/James+Pickering+Carroll+Benjamin+New+Years+Eve+2002.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="James Carroll New Year's Eve 2002" border="0" data-original-height="1037" data-original-width="1536" height="423" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZprlB8Ifb-zc5VkxX2CY7piL5WwJFYuw9m3mMdq0v6qpecLmZzyQjXoZw0MqKMd6P_jm6ZqzMcsITkI3NLVmeKLacLW_JS17iwY_bauZUkNNTFV_-YUtJ1qP86kxYIU9zwovZF9UmqNo/w625-h423/James+Pickering+Carroll+Benjamin+New+Years+Eve+2002.jpg" title="James Carroll New Year's Eve 2002" width="625" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p>James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-59273944121029990912019-08-09T14:20:00.002-05:002019-08-09T14:20:28.161-05:00Ft. Worth Brain Tumor Walk 2019Though I haven't walked in the last four years due to running a business, I will be available to walk this fall in honor of my wife. Of course, I've got to get back into shape. I didn't realize how out of shape running a business would put you, but it seems that that exhaustion that you feel is not the right kind of exhaustion.<br /><br />The Ft. Worth Brain Tumor Walk takes place Saturday November 2, 2019 and I hope that some of you will be able to join me and Lilly. Follow the links below and we hope to see you there!<br />
<br />
<a href="https://events.braintumor.org/ft-worth-brain-tumor-walk/" target="_blank">Ft. Worth Brain Tumor Walk</a><br />
<br />
By clicking on the above link, you can join the walk, join our team - Team Kiwi, or just donate to me - James Pickering, the team - Team Kiwi, or to the walk itself. If you have any questions, I'll be glad to help.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJWmiwGyXlIpTWSxON2A2ZtOzW9VIAiD-LtFT-dsGKIC05scY7o5EWlz4zo67uOio5BR-f2TYbSfZQhmdcqPKXDjYalBM3k3Y5nyYCq1evwfZ92mu_ZuIr_j8qze0mwc0KpcQTeWT0SyQ/s1600/July+2012+Carroll+Lilly+James+Photoshoot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1065" data-original-width="1600" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJWmiwGyXlIpTWSxON2A2ZtOzW9VIAiD-LtFT-dsGKIC05scY7o5EWlz4zo67uOio5BR-f2TYbSfZQhmdcqPKXDjYalBM3k3Y5nyYCq1evwfZ92mu_ZuIr_j8qze0mwc0KpcQTeWT0SyQ/s640/July+2012+Carroll+Lilly+James+Photoshoot.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-46132533908218769902019-06-05T23:54:00.001-05:002019-06-05T23:54:06.228-05:00Off The Beaten PathI love watching some of the videos from CBS News Sunday Morning. The minute or two of a nature scene with no sound but the rustling wind and bird calls are so calming. This one was more of a informational nature video about the byways of America. After watching it, I was reminded of all the times that Carroll and I would do our best to get off the beaten path. There is always so much more to see at a slower speed than what you can glimpse at seventy miles an hour.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/kh2FSxpGSq4" width="560"></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
We loved to watch <a href="http://texascountryreporter.com/" target="_blank">Texas Country Reporter</a> with Bob Phillips (now he's bringing along his wife Kelli) and we even had a atlas that they had put out (I think TCR did it) with every Texas road, farm-to-market and wagon rut that would support a vehicle. The word vehicle was used very loosely to accommodate many types of conveyance. With the help of that book, we got to see Texas fox hunts (coyotes filled in) and dinosaur tracks and so many other sights.<br />
<br />
This summer I hope to introduce my daughter to some of these amazing scenes by riding the roads like me and her mama did. And mama will still be there with us smiling down and enjoying the ride.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiCwD9BaRnR0WTVSFmJqSrAeEvCgom95dVptkgiVmQofJ0sux7X751cGGBQ0_vsMR8U_13PlpnXsBj7QjSDbHge2K4mF5ORclts-gr8D-OT1cZRp0P_NMOreFtH07j9XlP8dW7XLBdA40/s1600/2015-02-10+17.51.11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1067" data-original-width="1600" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiCwD9BaRnR0WTVSFmJqSrAeEvCgom95dVptkgiVmQofJ0sux7X751cGGBQ0_vsMR8U_13PlpnXsBj7QjSDbHge2K4mF5ORclts-gr8D-OT1cZRp0P_NMOreFtH07j9XlP8dW7XLBdA40/s400/2015-02-10+17.51.11.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-77106118965204612162019-03-22T10:52:00.001-05:002019-03-22T10:52:47.311-05:00Getting back to work on what mattersSo for four years I tried my hand at running my own business. Now that I've closed the shop, I have more time to work on something that I've been neglecting in the past and that is writing about my wife and raising money to fight these blasted brain tumors. It seems everywhere I turn, they are the cause for someone losing a life. Within a week of each other, I witnessed the passing of a good friend who was there when Carroll was sick and the passing of another friend's mother. I'm tired of this being "normal" news. I'm ready for a cure.<br /><br />Please join me in the fight.<br /><br />And stay tuned for more stories about Kiwi. I promise, I'll write more.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/donate/2289480604627687/?fundraiser_source=external_url" target="_blank">Help us find a cure!</a>James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-23130019784727406272017-07-17T21:53:00.001-05:002017-07-17T21:53:44.807-05:00Getting Back to RememberingI've been so busy with my comic book store over the last three years that I've neglected this website and I'm sorry. The whole reason for doing it was to give me a place to collect memories of Carroll and maybe Lilly would use it later for a place to learn more about Mama, as well as you folks.<br />
<br />
It was ten years ago on July 14th that they removed the mass in Carroll's temple. I thank the skill of Dr. Cattorini for helping give my wife two and a half more years to live. May 10th would have been her 45th birthday. January 30th would have had us celebrating our 12th anniversary, she would have eaten birthday cake with Lilly on her 7th birthday January 2nd, and of course, it was four years ago on February 3rd that she went ahead of us. I hadn't really thought how I say that until I saw it in print. She left us. Sounds like she did it on purpose and we all know that is not the case.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I happened to be cruising my Facebook feed and came across this video. The song is one that I played at the funeral. It was a favorite of mine and Carroll's and it's where Carroll resides, somewhere over the rainbow.<br />
<br />
The story behind the singer is tragic and lends to the solemnity of the song. In the video you can see how much the singer was loved and how many people turned out for the ceremony interning his ashes to the ocean. Beautiful song, beautiful video.
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe width="400" height="225" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/V1bFr2SWP1I" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-18432743134452441572015-09-08T01:30:00.001-05:002015-09-08T01:30:47.640-05:00Dallas-Ft. Worth Brain Tumor Walk 2015<p>Yep, that’s right. It’s been a year. This will be the our third walking without Carroll, but we know that she walks with us in spirit. I’ve been lax in getting this info out, so I’ve gotta step up my game a little.</p> <p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8jwrNJZKgCwEtsafZtjoEbW_k8-hkmxvtAmRZvwz5PPfnO4xxQX7lK8lCxzAr8swT-u7usF2SxYEDCLvaS-U-Nk0PiU3r9mnz2N3VoM6oWZSq1qD2EMHV5Dr8z5tOSIns2PKskItcE2U/s1600-h/DSCF0022cropped_opt%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img title="DSCF0022cropped_opt" style="border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; float: none; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin-left: auto; border-left: 0px; display: block; padding-right: 0px; margin-right: auto" border="0" alt="DSCF0022cropped_opt" src="http://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-SZAl3ks02lU/Ve6AlWID7YI/AAAAAAAATqQ/1gisyVF3Hjw/DSCF0022cropped_opt_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="206" height="244"></a></p> <p>I’ll try to keep this as simple as possible because the website is still a little hard to navigate. Even for me. There are several ways to participate. You can join the team and walk with us. That means you pay $25 and you get a page to gussy up real pretty and send the link to all of your friends and try to get them to donate, then you walk with us. Or, you can be a virtual participant. This is for those that can’t be there to walk with us, but want to help out in the fundraising department by having a page that they can send all of their friends to and collect donations. You’ll get an event t-shirt just as if you were at the event. You can just donate to the team or me, either one. If you donate to me, it is added to my funding goals. I set them a little low this year due to me running a full-time business and wrangling a kindergartner, but it can always be raised. And you can also just donate to Team Kiwi itself. And the last option is to just volunteer. It doesn’t cost anything, you get a cool volunteer t-shirt and you get to help out in a great cause.</p> <p>So, if you would like to join TEAM KIWI, volunteer or donate to the team, then click <a href="http://www.braintumorcommunity.org/site/TR/TeamraiserEvents/Dallas-FtWorthBrainTumorWalk?team_id=75356&pg=team&fr_id=2590">TEAM KIWI</a>.</p> <p>If you would like to donate to my page or join TEAM KIWI, then click <a href="http://www.braintumorcommunity.org/site/TR/TeamraiserEvents/Dallas-FtWorthBrainTumorWalk?px=2373548&pg=personal&fr_id=2590">JAMES PICKERING</a>.</p> <p>I’m hoping to have another great turnout as we always do. If you’ve got ideas for ways to raise money, feel free to share them on the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/WalkWithKiwi?ref=hl">Facebook Page - Dallas/Ft. Worth Brain Tumor Walk - Team Kiwi</a>. If you’d like to be on the mailing list, send me your email to walkwithkiwi (at) maildrop (dot) cc. If ya’ll don’t know how to turn that into an email, what are you doing on a computer? lol Seriously.</p> <p>Love to all and let’s start raising some money!</p> James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-41997807475378860052014-09-04T13:01:00.001-05:002014-09-04T13:01:33.680-05:00The Game is Afoot: The Dallas/Ft. Worth Brain Tumor Society 5K Walk<p align="justify">I wouldn’t normally look forward to this time of year because it always reminded me of what Carroll and I were dealing with. Now, I look forward to it because it gives me the chance to tap into Carroll’s spirit of giving and help fight the war against this disease.</p> <p align="justify">The event is being held on November 8, 2014 which is a Saturday. It’s looks to be even larger than last year and I love being a part <a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-WF7_kY8DDPU/VAio7BIqoYI/AAAAAAAAPjM/V4XoAGE0cO0/s1600-h/P1010202%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img title="P1010202" style="border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; float: right; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin: 5px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px" border="0" alt="P1010202" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-JDpEmRqnavU/VAio8E8Ck3I/AAAAAAAAPjU/qYOA8IGR7Qc/P1010202_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="133" align="right" height="240"></a>of it. I already have a few team members and would love to have some more. Not only to walk with us, but to help raise money. You can donate to me or you can join the team and get your own web page to take donations on. Follow our Facebook page at <a href="http://www.Facebook.com/WalkWithKiwi">www.Facebook.com/WalkWithKiwi</a>. This is the easiest way to keep up, even if you don’t have a Facebook page. When you register, I’ll send an email to the one you logged in with. I’ll keep them to about every 2 to 3 weeks and if you want to opt out, just let me know.</p> <p align="justify">We will also have a t-shirts provided free this year. It would seem that we won a contest of sorts and all we have to do is submit a design and the organization will pay for the production of the shirts.</p> <p align="justify">So, go to <a title="http://events.braintumor.org/events/dallas-ft-worth-brain-tumor-walk/registration?kwoTeamToJoinId=2VTB6Y3" href="http://events.braintumor.org/events/dallas-ft-worth-brain-tumor-walk/registration?kwoTeamToJoinId=2VTB6Y3">We Are Team Kiwi</a> and register to help fund raise and walk with us, or you can go to my personal page at <a href="http://events.braintumor.org/events/dallas-ft-worth-brain-tumor-walk/donate/?kwoAdvocateId=FB32D99">James Pickering</a> to donate. Regardless, please pass this message on to anyone that can be of help to this cause. I have seen too many people lose their lives to brain cancer in the last few years and I want to be a part of the generation that stops it in it’s tracks. Help me do that. Please. For me, my daughter, and my wife, Kiwi.</p> James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-85398938288653318672014-05-10T13:21:00.002-05:002014-05-10T13:21:58.379-05:00Happy Birthday, My Love!Happy Birthday to my loving departed. She would have been forty-two this year. The mother of a beautiful, smart, active four year old daughter. Still, doing her best to make sure everyone else was taken care of. In a way, I picture her doing that from on high as she rides butterflies, as Lilly puts it. She joined Grandpa Jim, and since, has been joined by Uncle Jeremy, her brother-in-law. Lilly and I say goodnight to them at every bedtime. She sleeps better knowing that we've talked to them. I want to write more, but it's hard. Over a year gone and it is still hard to comprehend. We didn't have a birthday party for her like we did last year. Graduations are going on around us, Mother's Day, more birthdays, and life in general. I figure everyone will remember her in their own way, but I would like to remind everyone of how giving she was and ask that you give in some way to someone else. Not today, but somewhere in the near future. Love to all. We miss you, Mama.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcsV3R-vVBS4eh4PpyTJl2phzZo8fRJEPlJoZJsMS-4KZSKlsIQjViNVpH7ki3slT-TD5LSHOfJLn2Bm5ZdkvcSlE1D_adckZCJxJq4jbdInc6Snd8yg6TieVIWcj6ug5JmRCjA2piJeU/s1600/Carroll+and+Julie+from+Julie+DeChristofaro.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Carroll and Julie DeChristefaro on Vacation" border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcsV3R-vVBS4eh4PpyTJl2phzZo8fRJEPlJoZJsMS-4KZSKlsIQjViNVpH7ki3slT-TD5LSHOfJLn2Bm5ZdkvcSlE1D_adckZCJxJq4jbdInc6Snd8yg6TieVIWcj6ug5JmRCjA2piJeU/s1600/Carroll+and+Julie+from+Julie+DeChristofaro.jpg" height="180" title="Carroll and Julie DeChristefaro on Vacation" width="320" /></a><br />
The photo is of Carroll and her friend, Julie, on vacation and having some fun with a portrait. Troublemakers.James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-36318704487346391612014-04-07T20:46:00.001-05:002014-04-07T20:46:57.370-05:00On Butterfly Wings<p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJHgXK66TAew91ZxySo19HaIobQOm2eEWnnni7sS7EUe2vroyCyhXITE6khuoTuewtS0z5GbuHKoC4LW9WXbMs0SV4eC6yUG8MHRe7OvnYVPdvr17W_v6fH28jrLHDfF1NAI3bT_LTx2E/s1600-h/58761_10151250316259853_799794153_n%25255B6%25255D.jpg"><img title="Carroll and her sister Maggie" style="border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; border-bottom: 0px; margin: 0px 5px 0px 0px; border-left: 0px; display: inline" border="0" alt="Carroll and her sister Maggie" src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-DAVifD0ds40/U0NVD682UsI/AAAAAAAANUc/k5pGTF1BzCo/58761_10151250316259853_799794153_n_thumb%25255B4%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="206" align="left" height="244"></a></p> <p>I haven't posted on here in a while. Been dealing with the loss of my little brother among other things. But that doesn't mean we don't have more memories to post. My brother's death was upsetting to Lilly but she handled it in stride. Seems since we've lost Mama, she has been part of the funeral of five fish, two chicks, and then this recent loss. I know that she is handling it well because of this. Grandma Bitsy told me that one evening Lilly told her that Mama was riding butterflies in heaven. Don’t know where she got that from, but that’s what she said. Then upon finding out about Jeremy’s passing, she got quiet. I asked her if that made her sad and she said yes. I said that that was okay and if she felt like crying, then that was okay, too. She shook her little head. Then she looked up at me and asked, “are there enough butterflies in heaven for Uncle Jeremy to ride, too?” It makes me smile every time I think about it, that Grandpa Jim, Kiwi, Uncle Jeremy, two cats (Jade & Tigger), five fish, and two baby chicks are riding butterflies. Well, maybe not the fish and chicks. </p> James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-1970744195498904862014-02-04T20:02:00.001-06:002014-02-04T20:02:55.147-06:00Super Bowl Commercial Was Our Life<p>Kind of funny that they aired this the day before the one year anniversary of Carroll's passing. It hit me kind of hard, because this WAS me and Carroll. The five years before Lilly came along, we took long drives. We would drive for hours, just hold hands and watch the countryside. This commercial is how I see some of our most memorable moments, enjoying each other's company and nothing but the road whine and the radio to keep us company. <p>But, it also showed the trips that we took, knowing that some day she wouldn't be there and we just bathed in the moment of togetherness and hoping for that dawn of sunlight that might be a cure or at least a diagnosis of remission. I miss my beloved everyday. This video helps me remember some of our moments. It's strange to say that about a car commercial, but it does. <p> </p> <div id="scid:5737277B-5D6D-4f48-ABFC-DD9C333F4C5D:0ea07bad-dcd3-4398-b22d-e0cd5b3f7c5e" class="wlWriterEditableSmartContent" style="width: 425px; float: none; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px"><div id="c75a11c9-456d-4829-98b2-d9ae803cab31" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; display: inline;"><div><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vhMpXMPvdU&feature=youtube_gdata_player" target="_new"><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-abL_VjKfGvg/UvGbzMmQ4XI/AAAAAAAAL08/nNIgm3VccAg/video8ba207cd680e%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="border-style: none" galleryimg="no" onload="var downlevelDiv = document.getElementById('c75a11c9-456d-4829-98b2-d9ae803cab31'); downlevelDiv.innerHTML = "<div><object width=\"425\" height=\"355\"><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http://www.youtube.com/v/7vhMpXMPvdU&hl=en\"><\/param><embed src=\"http://www.youtube.com/v/7vhMpXMPvdU&hl=en\" type=\"application/x-shockwave-flash\" width=\"425\" height=\"355\"><\/embed><\/object><\/div>";" alt=""></a></div></div></div> James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-38430321579174932622013-11-05T11:11:00.001-06:002013-11-05T11:12:14.099-06:00Reaching Out<p>I think I’ve donated to a dozen charities since Carroll’s passing. Nothing like losing someone close to you to make you feel close to those that are suffering through the same ailments.</p> <p>I received this video and though I don’t normally watch them because I’m running out of Kleenex, I did this one. And yes, the waterworks were on. Below is a video of a young 12 year old girl with brain cancer, Olivia Wise. She wanted to record Katy Perry’s song ‘Roar’ and someone stepped up and got her some studio time. Katy Perry has some very inspirational songs and this one is no different. There is also a link for a video reply that Katy sent to Olivia. Under the videos are links to donation pages to the Liv Wise Fund. </p> <div id="scid:5737277B-5D6D-4f48-ABFC-DD9C333F4C5D:056e0031-fa10-49b7-98d3-0df254d38468" class="wlWriterEditableSmartContent" style="float: none; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; width: 343px"><div id="8a2d86e6-ce19-4a04-83a9-402853b0e61b" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; display: inline;"><div><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_An8xNwupo&feature=youtube_gdata_player" target="_new"><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-7iXNHV42MHs/UnkmuxipMpI/AAAAAAAAJBg/f2ew_MIo9NM/videoe19c37a3fd45%25255B11%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="border-style: none" galleryimg="no" onload="var downlevelDiv = document.getElementById('8a2d86e6-ce19-4a04-83a9-402853b0e61b'); downlevelDiv.innerHTML = "<div><object width=\"343\" height=\"257\"><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http://www.youtube.com/v/m_An8xNwupo?hl=en&hd=1\"><\/param><embed src=\"http://www.youtube.com/v/m_An8xNwupo?hl=en&hd=1\" type=\"application/x-shockwave-flash\" width=\"343\" height=\"257\"><\/embed><\/object><\/div>";" alt=""></a></div></div><div style="width:343px;clear:both;font-size:.8em">Donate to the Live Wise Fund.</div></div> <p>I donated to Olivia and I’m also walking with my 34 team mates this weekend at the DFW Brain Tumor 5K Walk. If you would like to donate or walk, go to <a href="http://www.braintumorcommunity.org/goto/jameshpickering">www.braintumorcommunity.org/goto/jameshpickering</a>. If you’d like to walk you need to register before Thursday, November 7.</p> <p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2Q9VBkaNIQ">Katy Perry’s Video Reply</a></p> James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-77573015758103222222013-10-29T10:37:00.001-05:002013-10-29T10:37:00.606-05:00A-Traveling We Will Go<p align="justify">In my last post, I spoke of dreaming about Carroll going on a trip. It’s funny how dreams work. Are they a spiritual window into the another dimension where we can speak with the afterlife or are they just the random file cards of your brain trying to straighten itself out for the next day?</p> <p align="justify">Carroll’s cousin lost a close friend last week and posted about a dream that he had just recently. It was about a picnic with that friend and his family. The friend then got up as if to leave and everyone saying good-bye, then realizing that it wasn’t <em>that kind</em> of good-bye.</p> <p align="justify"><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-jKjNvGQ1nHE/Um_WGCuaiOI/AAAAAAAAI78/szA0vz881yU/s1600-h/heic1012a_EDIT%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img title="heic1012a_EDIT" style="border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; float: right; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin: 5px; border-left: 0px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px" border="0" alt="heic1012a_EDIT" align="right" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-o6u0KMwCtLo/Um_WG2DjT-I/AAAAAAAAI8A/iF1FtPntdeE/heic1012a_EDIT_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="197" height="192"></a>In my first dream, Carroll was off to New Mexico to start a new life without me. In the one I had the other night, she was going on a very long cruise. You know, in real life, Carroll loved to travel. In fact, we had just gotten back from a two week trip to visit family when she passed away. I’d like to believe from my dreams that Carroll is still traveling, but from star to star.</p> <p align="justify">I miss you, Carroll.</p> James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-10833296516911509682013-09-23T14:40:00.001-05:002013-09-23T14:40:00.314-05:00Happy in New Mexico<p>I always thought that I would start dreaming about Carroll shortly after she passed, but I didn’t. I thought maybe I was too depressed or grieving too hard and my brain didn’t want to overload me. I always figured that dreaming was the way that the mind helped grieve.</p> <p>It wasn’t until about a month ago that Lillian started dreaming of Mama. She awoke one morning with a thoughtful look on her face. I asked her what was wrong and she said “nothing.” I pushed and asked if she was thinking about Mama. She replied, “yes.” I remember her talking in her sleep, so I asked if she had dreamed of Mama and again she gave me a quiet little yeah.</p> <p>“Was it a bad dream?”</p> <p>“No.”</p> <p>“Was it a good one?”</p> <p>“Yeah, it was a good one.”</p> <p>This gave me a lot of relief. “Well, you know Lilly Bug, that’s Mama’s way of talking to us. She might make us remember a special time that we spent with her, or a place that we used to go. Is that what the dream was about?”</p> <p>“Yeah.” Nothing more than that. She gave me a little hug and got up to start getting dressed.</p> <p>She eventually told me about a week later that she had another one and it was good, too. I guess we’re doing okay.</p> <p>Then I had one this last week. My first. From what I can remember of it, Carroll and I weren’t together, for whatever reason. I thought that we were getting back together and I get this letter. In the letter, it’s from someone else, I don’t know who. I get the gist from the letter that Carroll has either forgotten about me or never knew me, but she has moved to New Mexico and she’s very happy. Very strange, because we visited last New Mexico last May for the eclipse, but no mention of wanting to move there. It was always Ireland that she wanted to move to and I was 100% with her.</p> <p>After thinking about it for a while and mentioning it to my sister-in-law, Maggie, we surmised this. The dream is my brain’s way of interpreting Carroll’s death. We were together, we’re not now. Carroll hasn’t forgotten me, she’s gone to heaven and by happy, it means that she doesn’t hurt anymore. And if that’s how my brain interprets it, then I’m fine with her being happy in New Mexico.</p> James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-42966388175835446202013-08-27T10:57:00.001-05:002013-08-27T10:57:51.787-05:00Good Night, Sweetheart. Hang up the phone.<p>So, it’s the middle of the night and I come across this video about Fred. Fred recently lost his wife Lorraine after 75 years of marriage. He found a songwriting contest for a local studio in the newspaper and he entered it. Though it was far from the caliber of the songs that the studio was looking for, the guys could hear Fred’s love and devotion in the words of the song and the letter he sent along with it.</p> <div id="scid:5737277B-5D6D-4f48-ABFC-DD9C333F4C5D:b60f2ec2-a6b3-48a6-9b58-3c912aabc1a6" class="wlWriterEditableSmartContent" style="float: none; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; width: 448px"><div id="59cd17ee-c1c3-4691-b54f-0d1ac0268dea" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; display: inline;"><div><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDi4hBWsvkY&feature=youtube_gdata_player" target="_new"><img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-a_Z7fJohu3o/UhzMfhh3PTI/AAAAAAAAH-0/6VjhKF6ovMg/videoab35510dc569%25255B18%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="border-style: none" galleryimg="no" onload="var downlevelDiv = document.getElementById('59cd17ee-c1c3-4691-b54f-0d1ac0268dea'); downlevelDiv.innerHTML = "<div><object width=\"448\" height=\"252\"><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http://www.youtube.com/v/KDi4hBWsvkY?hl=en&hd=1\"><\/param><embed src=\"http://www.youtube.com/v/KDi4hBWsvkY?hl=en&hd=1\" type=\"application/x-shockwave-flash\" width=\"448\" height=\"252\"><\/embed><\/object><\/div>";" alt=""></a></div></div><div style="width:448px;clear:both;font-size:.8em">She gave me 75 years of her life . . .</div></div> <p>After posting the link, I read this article about a <a href="http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/08/26/ohio-couple-married-65-years-die-in-nursing-home-11-hours-apart/">man and woman who were married 65 years and then passed away 11 hours apart</a>.</p> <p>If it weren't for cancer, this is how I believe Carroll and I would have been. Carroll knew within days of first dating that we would probably be together forever and that was fine to us. When we made plans for the future, there was no doubt that we would be there for the other. And this is how we would have finished our lives together; like hanging up the phone after a long late night call, "you go first," "no, you go first," but both knowing that we would see each other in a short while.</p> James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-24368605610763047032013-08-09T08:59:00.001-05:002013-08-09T08:59:27.485-05:00Carroll Was My Sixth<div id="scid:5737277B-5D6D-4f48-ABFC-DD9C333F4C5D:494efd7d-e53b-4a09-ab39-0a19362ae4e2" class="wlWriterEditableSmartContent" style="float: none; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin: 0px auto; display: block; padding-right: 0px; width: 448px"><div id="00aa2ee7-4067-47ab-b86d-8462bda95f9e" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; display: inline;"><div><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvxHPtEsmFc&feature=youtube_gdata_player" target="_new"><img src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-_oRpqPwopzs/UgT1vhKUJdI/AAAAAAAAHss/H-THcFlZs3Q/video471a8c465b12%25255B4%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" style="border-style: none" galleryimg="no" onload="var downlevelDiv = document.getElementById('00aa2ee7-4067-47ab-b86d-8462bda95f9e'); downlevelDiv.innerHTML = "<div><object width=\"448\" height=\"252\"><param name=\"movie\" value=\"http://www.youtube.com/v/JvxHPtEsmFc?hl=en&hd=1\"><\/param><embed src=\"http://www.youtube.com/v/JvxHPtEsmFc?hl=en&hd=1\" type=\"application/x-shockwave-flash\" width=\"448\" height=\"252\"><\/embed><\/object><\/div>";" alt=""></a></div></div><div style="width:448px;clear:both;font-size:.8em">Watch and find out why.</div></div> James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-68926287290367794952013-08-07T13:42:00.001-05:002013-08-09T09:00:35.143-05:00Walking With Kiwi<p align="justify"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_HTJN3zV2J6Q6GeyvvAteA89-s8igiDV7zwIS9qzgPbgaAQFCPQa_dqjU24ztjyBRTIcNt5_uRFP6MKSrs_rr7Plvcwhstk5DSI2FNcGzbU2uliiHKcGoa6dnwgWuhHWCcwUCVv6-j5Y/s1600-h/2011-11-05_09-20-32_398%25255B8%25255D.jpg"><img title="2011-11-05_09-20-32_398" style="border-left-width: 0px; border-right-width: 0px; background-image: none; border-bottom-width: 0px; float: left; padding-top: 0px; padding-left: 0px; margin: 5px; display: inline; padding-right: 0px; border-top-width: 0px" border="0" alt="2011-11-05_09-20-32_398" align="left" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-gxY3w-koy4w/UgKU_1ttPhI/AAAAAAAAHrs/03WyiFX1LlY/2011-11-05_09-20-32_398_thumb%25255B5%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="150" height="150"></a>I put out a <a href="http://www.jameshpickering.com/2013/08/national-brain-tumor-walk-2013.html">call-to-arms on my personal blog</a> about the walk this year. This will be the first year without Kiwi. The day of the walk will come just a week over nine months from her passing. I’m not sure how I will handle it.</p> <p align="justify">I’ve already failed in her last words to me. “Get healthy.” I made a promise at her memorial that I would run the 5K, but getting back to some state of normal takes a while. I have made small changes here and there, but not enough to allow me to run it. Maybe next year. </p> <p align="justify">“Get healthy.” Yeah, those were her last words directly to me as we rushed to get her back home from the trip. I had made a move in my seat as I was driving and I winced due to the pain in my knee. It was loud enough to scare her out of her own pain. She grabbed my hand and between the crescendos of tumor pulsing in her head, she told me to get healthy. The girl who was passing away before my very eyes was more worried with me and my damn knee.</p> <p align="justify">Yeah, that’s the kind of girl I lucked out and married. Always thinking of others, instead of herself. That’s why, even though she couldn’t make it the first year that we walked, she was there the second, then the third and last time. Knowing that she may not be around much longer, she walked because she wanted for others what she might not get; a cure. What a girl.</p> <p align="justify">I ask you, dear reader, to take time to visit the <a href="http://www.braintumorcommunity.org/goto/walkwithkiwi">Team Kiwi page</a>. If you can walk with us, please join us, but if not, try to make a donation or, at least, spread the word about our cause. Maybe one day I’ll be able to look up to Heaven and tell that selfless girl that we made a difference.</p> James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-24843409834778481022013-07-02T14:28:00.002-05:002013-07-02T14:30:23.636-05:00Live Like You Were Dying<a href="http://joethepeacock.blogspot.com/2013/07/when-time-is-gone-its-fucking-gone.html?showComment=1372792772333">Post from Joe the Peacock (some language)</a><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5M-bTrb4K_xEmhjXFxApP2fP4zc4bSyrwRNK83dANYTSBCZW4rqpAXax4C3V3PnE6I9ZmjosTZynTq8xdJkzY4LoivmFI91WwJEz90dSXhBQ0KGd5IsMic4KiPqnLqZ5AgGy3vMpyeC8/s1571/DSCN0027+(2).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5M-bTrb4K_xEmhjXFxApP2fP4zc4bSyrwRNK83dANYTSBCZW4rqpAXax4C3V3PnE6I9ZmjosTZynTq8xdJkzY4LoivmFI91WwJEz90dSXhBQ0KGd5IsMic4KiPqnLqZ5AgGy3vMpyeC8/s200/DSCN0027+(2).JPG" width="133" /></a></div>
This was posted by a gentleman in response to the death of a friend's mother. A woman that he got to know late in life and wished he had spent more time getting to know. And then my response is below that. I have discovered a little too late that money doesn't matter, your work doesn't matter, and fame and fortune are just words. I have redemption in my child because I can share my life the way it was supposed to be shared with Carroll; living life to the fullest. Take those trips and I don't mean the big ones that you save up for a year. The little ones that just get you away and somewhere different. Even if it's just in the back yard away from work. But spend time with your family and friends because one day they will be gone. Love to all.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>
I lost my wife to brain cancer in February. A month after our daughter turned three and three days after celebrating eight wonderful years of marriage and ten and a half years of just being together. In the end, I still questioned did we spend all the time that we could have? Did we say "I love you" enough? Did I take her to all the wonderful places that we had talked and dreamed about? Sadly, we spent most of our final time talking about the imminence of death and preparing for it. When the doctors could do no more for us, we were told that we had three months. In reality, it was six weeks. My wife actually showed no outward signs of cancer for the majority of that time until the day before she died. And then she was gone. I questioned "Did I do enough to make her happy" and yet in the end her words to me were "I want YOU to be happy." We never have enough time and we will never ever do what we want or say the things that we should enough to our satisfaction in the end. But as you have stated, and the adage goes, live as if YOU were dying and treat everyone with the love that you have for them and when it is over, it will have been enough. Thank you for sharing and allowing me to share, also.</blockquote>
James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-86044493698367983812013-06-17T09:49:00.001-05:002013-06-17T09:49:42.912-05:00The Day I Became a Dad<p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-ju3zy55Sd20/Ub8iBIuN_gI/AAAAAAAAGQw/EsArCTIXt50/s1600-h/DSC01524-1%25255B9%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 5px 10px 5px 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: left; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="DSC01524-1" border="0" alt="DSC01524-1" align="left" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXrdVN1DcZrknXhngsjFalqxBKp2QbvzZc7q4RTspOhhipeyxDbrvUsn7jhkIQ1YNkWcjYBernWpj5N5zh7ZVCBCQGZlOC5itUbqTsyKOcfF47i4tJpuD6VJyBfb2UONqxmgcQ9Z_zVHw/?imgmax=800" width="277" height="331"></a>Ah, yes, I remember it well. In a dazed and confused sort of way. Sitting in the little room by myself while they prepped Carroll for the cesarean. We had held off learning what gender the baby would be, because the both of us thought it would be wonderful to be surprised. The weeks leading up to the birth had everyone a little antsy and starting to make assumptions. “Oh, if you’re carrying the baby high, it’s going to be a boy.” If it does this it’s a girl, if it kicks a lot, it’s a boy. So much to the point that even Carroll and I started saying “he,” when referring to the baby.</p> <p>So, there I was sitting in this little room with just my thoughts. If it’s a little boy, what do I teach him first. You know, beyond all that how to use the potty and don’t eat your boogers thing. Of course, there is a study out now that says that booger eating actually helps your immune system, so maybe I won’t harp on that one too much. But then I got to a point where I wondered, “What if it’s a girl? When is a good age to teach her about little boys and WHAT do I teach her?” At that precise instant, the nurse walks in and says that it’s time. Within two minutes my fears were realized and I had a baby girl staring me in the face. Well, I was staring, she didn’t have her eyes open yet. As I placed Lillian next to her Mama’s head where she could get a good look at her brand new baby girl, I looked at Carroll with fear in my eyes and said, “We’re in trouble.”</p> <p>I miss you Carroll.</p> James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-23545020396394867272013-05-10T00:58:00.001-05:002013-05-10T00:58:36.974-05:00Happy Birthday, My Dear Sweet Love<p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioTKqUQMcPi75BmoD-9_JpZS32aXD-MXl72uGAah0FMCB8Nm7K1QNElbeHeJBOTp5tJvC7uXRTovysrnj4Vh8OijPgSJgmB7reN6ZojGxTojv6-TGRze_w2tInGN08aiYiPz7kmkueVd8/s1600-h/Carroll%252520Head%252520Shot%25255B5%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 5px 10px 0px 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: left; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Carroll Head Shot" border="0" alt="Carroll Head Shot" align="left" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-wlFl3Hb_JpQ/UYyMhjnpuKI/AAAAAAAAF9I/88w4SWu2YhM/Carroll%252520Head%252520Shot_thumb%25255B2%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="102" height="159"></a>I write this with tears running down my cheeks. Today is what would have been your forty-first birthday. Even as you got older, you grew more beautiful and even though cancer was taking it’s toll on your body and mind, you still held it all so gracefully. There will be get-togethers to remember you. Friends and family sharing memories, but they will not be the same because they will lack that youthful laugh and smile and the little crinkle around the corners of your eyes.</p> <p>I sometimes find myself reaching out for you or looking expectantly at the door, waiting for you to make your entrance, knowing full well, that you are not here anymore. I can hear your voice. It hangs there on the wind, or on the edge of whatever other noise is being made. I’ll turn and strain to listen harder. The following silence hurts. I talk to you at night before I go to sleep. Lilly and I will say “hi” in our prayers. She will, every once in a while, just yell out, “I love you, Mommy,” especially if she’s happy about something. She asks if you will come back and I bite my lip and tell her, “no.” She will then tell me that she knows that Mama is in Heaven with Grandpa Jim, and the cats, Jade and Tigger. She’s only seen Tigger in photos. She loves to watch videos and look at photos of her and Mama. Some videos she will play over and over. She has just the hint of a smile on her lips when she does. We all have smiles when we think of you. </p> <p><a href="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-Lr0aCyPCEMY/UYyMiJUGBFI/AAAAAAAAF9Q/0yorRmErktc/s1600-h/IMG_3500%25255B4%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 5px 0px 0px 10px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: right; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="IMG_3500" border="0" alt="IMG_3500" align="right" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf_R7JAMbr0MBPsG3ZPrhC8DGeJwp59uGRmP7wycghfuJr_jEg_-zhTZRCzA1Hr38aMyI9efKuXmuaNF8SGgnxR2Id5ByRLJgQwX_s1tmmsEsOZYVqKLa5KtG2iaIXWdz49JVVMHmee-s/?imgmax=800" width="240" height="153"></a>Carroll, I don’t know if this will ever end, but I pray to God that as time goes by it gets easier. You were taken from this Earth too early. We were supposed to grow old together and watch our child grow into a wonderful loving young woman. I know that she still will, but there are too many things that you were to teach her that I can’t. I know we’ll make it, but it doesn’t change the fact, that you are not here. You have to watch from the sidelines, though I’ve heard the stadium seating where you are is “heavenly.”</p> <p>Sorry, I didn’t mean for this to turn into a whiney post, but I just needed to vent. I only wanted to tell you that I miss my best friend and soul mate and love to end all loves. I miss you and happy birthday. Your faithful and loving husband, James.</p> James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-11291736243184358342013-03-21T15:03:00.001-05:002013-03-21T15:03:17.246-05:00Love is . . .<p>Some, most, a few may know that Carroll was actually a natural blonde. It wasn’t a classified government secret or anything, but she was sure to never let the roots get too far out. I only saw her for a few months as a blonde in our entire ten years together. She said that it made her look washed out with her pale skin, and no amount of sun was going to darken that skin. She tried. </p> <p>Growing up, I always seemed to gravitate towards blondes but somewhere out there I started dating red heads. Don’t know when, but there came a time when I could start going back over past girlfriends and there was a pattern. I never actually went out looking and said, “yep, I’m only gonna date reds!” It just happened that way. I guess, in a way, I got the girl that could meet both requirements.</p> <p><a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-80ynyMlybwI/UUtngiyYlcI/AAAAAAAAFdg/yrIlffOHdL4/s1600-h/Charlie%252520Brown%252520loves%252520Red%252520Heads%25255B2%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 5px 10px 0px 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: left; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Charlie Brown loves Red Heads" border="0" alt="Charlie Brown loves Red Heads" align="left" src="http://lh4.ggpht.com/-Hw68yAe88VE/UUtnhLsQZzI/AAAAAAAAFdo/a7pljmLrIU8/Charlie%252520Brown%252520loves%252520Red%252520Heads_thumb.jpg?imgmax=800" width="244" height="244"></a>Needless to say, I shed a tear for my lost Carroll when I made the mistake of checking my Facebook during lunch and found this. It’s okay. I’m smiling now.</p> James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-12359010108643887202013-03-19T22:36:00.001-05:002013-03-19T22:37:25.908-05:00Lilly Chooses Her First Tat<p><a href="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-LEZnUc5Cnt4/UUkuyGUTuEI/AAAAAAAAFag/ptANqj_w8ZQ/s1600-h/Carroll%252527s%252520Tattoo%2525202%25255B21%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 5px 10px 0px 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: left; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="Carroll's Tattoo 2" border="0" alt="Carroll's Tattoo 2" align="left" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-ZAx7aKfUJac/UUkuysyul-I/AAAAAAAAFak/Ma1B9w-0xcc/Carroll%252527s%252520Tattoo%2525202_thumb%25255B21%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="181" height="140"></a>Most people may not know that Carroll had a tattoo. She tells of how she tried to keep it from her father, but somehow it slipped out and the next time she called her mother, Jim, her father who was a tried-and-true upstanding Prior Marine American Dad, yells in the background, “what’s this about a tattoo?!?”</p> <p>It was nothing major, by today’s standards it was a little tame. Just a celtic knot design made of cats in green ink. I don’t ever remember her saying anything about except that she liked the design like she liked cats. If anyone knows anything different, please tell me. But, she had it put on her shoulder and you could see it only if she wore spaghetti straps or tank top, which she only wore around the house.</p> <p>Except for our wedding day. She thought about hiding it, but we agreed that that was not who she was, so proudly display it. Jim would make a comment or two, but he knew that if this was the worse that Carroll would ever do, then he was a winner for sure.</p> <p>Fast forward to now. Lilly and I are eating pizza and watching TV. She’s really not into WRECK-IT RALPH, though it is the one they were watching at school and the one that she requested. She’ll watch WINNIE THE POOH until my stomach hurts, but that seems to be the only one she likes. So, while I’m trying to get my money’s worth, she is playing with a pack of stickers that she got over the holidays. One of them turned out to be a temporary tattoo of HELLO KITTY. Let’s just say that I, and several family members and friends, have purchased stock in this franchise by buying for Christmas and her birthday. What’s really funny is how she recognized it as a tattoo. Man, they start young. But what happened next and brought a tear to my eye was when she jumped up in my lap and asked me to help her put it on her. “Well, where do you want Daddy to put it, Lilly Bug?”</p> <p>She reaches back over her right shoulder with her left hand and pats the spot, “right here, Daddy.” Exactly where Mama had her tattoo.</p> James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-44531185849776595522013-02-25T12:07:00.001-06:002013-02-25T12:07:40.973-06:00National Brain Tumor Society 5K 2013 Set for November 9, 2013<p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-XNDxgm7hvN7EN3L0MNQAUTnMxDaGPazm3RK-SEXHpjppFg7UW90ZF9vInHXlKa9XZoEvJ1v_OAREBnWH45DbzHQuvHAkhKGs7Gyxn6w_8ZYBwgLia8KuNIW05HOR5mAZ0FDhbfYM4AE/s1600-h/P1000080%25255B5%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 5px 10px 0px 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: left; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="P1000080" border="0" alt="P1000080" align="left" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-ufuGpSCL6zk/USuoayYUanI/AAAAAAAAFT4/uJkHVPNPC8g/P1000080_thumb%25255B5%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="240" height="159"></a>February 13th, 2013 was the day that we gathered and remembered the amazing woman, wife, and mother that was Carroll. I delivered her eulogy with minimal tears, how, I don’t know, and at the end, I issued a call to crowd. To most honor Carroll, go forth and give of yourself unto others. That is how best to remember her, by emulating her caring spirit. And to give them a starting point, I asked everyone present to come join us at the next Dallas-Ft. Worth Brain Tumor Walk.</p> <p>The date has been set on the National Brain Tumor Society site, but the link for the walk has not gone live yet. It probably will not for another month or two, but in the meantime, you can mark your calendars for November 9th, 2013. It will be a Saturday and will start about 7:00 A.M. I can’t expect everyone to make it, but I can hope that we will have a great turnout and we can show people what Kiwi was all about!</p> <p>I will continue to post the important stuff here for those that don’t have Facebook, but those that do can keep up with the Walk info at A Walk With Kiwi. Come join us!</p> James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-73651753861868350552013-02-19T09:22:00.001-06:002013-02-19T09:22:08.478-06:00Breakfast<p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgToh84gG0kN4qxwoabwx3c4YAbmBCzwnpkEC7qfWxPkLHvRIpreG9vssi5T_lSkSm_H-M5S3hD56RsoSnU4FVZZLJtTCrSX8DwYdJrEmrSx8lTkV9VtbAByeRmWopQN64GSlwCKhMuW-I/s1600-h/May27%25252370%25255B3%25255D.jpg"><img style="background-image: none; border-bottom: 0px; border-left: 0px; margin: 5px 10px 0px 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; display: inline; float: left; border-top: 0px; border-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px" title="May27#70" border="0" alt="May27#70" align="left" src="http://lh3.ggpht.com/-zyKPfDVOrR0/USOYn9zYFOI/AAAAAAAAFRU/3V2Nk7wbJNI/May27%25252370_thumb%25255B1%25255D.jpg?imgmax=800" width="240" height="180"></a>Just got back from dropping Lilly off at school and made mine & Carroll's usual morning run. Caught myself before I ordered one for her. She always got the breakfast on a bun with sausage. And no egg. I never understood that, but that's what made me love my wife. Those little things like a breakfast sandwich without the "breakfast" on it. lol I miss her bunches.</p> James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4475101677689256396.post-1630546461824858812013-02-12T13:26:00.002-06:002013-02-12T13:27:32.803-06:00The Obituary of Carroll Elizabeth Benjamin Pickering<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px;"><br />The obituary as it should have run in the Dallas Morning News, if I had wanted to pay $725. I love my wife and her memory, but that money will go somewhere else to better honor her.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px;">Carroll Elizabeth Benjamin Pickering, 40, left behind the pain of stage IV brain cancer that had plagued her for over two years February 3, 2013. She passed away in the comfort of her home in Dallas with family by her side. She was born May 10, 1972 in Houston, Texas.</span></blockquote>
<blockquote>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px;">She is preceded in death by her father, James H. Benjamin. Surviving family members are her husband, James, and daughter, Lillian, mother, Marie Bagert, and siblings Annie Irwin, Katy Benjamin, Margaret Benjamin, and Hank Benjamin. </span></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px;">She was employed by Neiman Marcus for twelve years as a financial coordinator. She enjoyed traveling with her family and friends and had just completed a trip to the Hill Country and northeastern Georgia with her husband and daughter. She was an avid reader, including bedtime stories to her daughter. She loved making jewelry, cooking and baking, especially around the holidays. She actively participated the last two years of the National Brain Tumor 5K walk with the love and support of family and friends.</span></blockquote>
<br />
<blockquote>
<br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px;" />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px;">A memorial service will be held at 2:00 pm, Wednesday, February 13, 2013 at Sparkman/Hillcrest Northwest Highway Chapel. The family asks, that in lieu of flowers, make a donation in Carroll's name to the National Brain Tumor Society (www.braintumor.org) or to a charity that is close to your heart.</span></blockquote>
James Pickeringhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00336945793586222402noreply@blogger.com3